This is why fear is stopping you from reaching your language goals.

In this article I will pinpoint at the most common reason why most people —including you— are afraid to speak a foreign language and why this has to stop right now.

I get it.

Deep down you know it is embarrassment.

Your first trial and error with the language you’re learning in real life might turn into a nightmare overnight if you aren’t careful how you go about it.

The stranger you happen to have asked for directions did not know what you meant when you politely asked him at a busy intersection on your last weekend trip with your friends and family. Instead, he looked rather perplexed. It didn’t look good from the outside either and you didn’t feel good. The interaction was odd, to say the least.

That stranger was not a specific person you knew, but it was more or less an avatar of a random local citizen of some place. It could be any place, anywhere.

Was just he unhelpful or did he really not understand you?

Let’s take a closer look.

Our stranger might understand some of what you say, but might be confused by your choice of words. Or might even awkwardly frown at your accent. He might’ve not even gotten over the fact that you yourself looked dazzled and uneasy when you asked that question. All of these things might play a role in a first encounter with the language you’re learning that could leave you speechless, quite literally too.

You need to understand, first of all, that human language is solidly based on communicational contexts, that is, you don’t just come up to a stranger and mumble words and expect brilliant results. It doesn’t work like that. If you can’t foresee that your interaction will be of little success, it might turn out just to be so.

You need to realize what it is deemed as socially acceptable and unacceptable in different contexts.

In most cultures there is a certain way to behave that is considered appropriate in a specific situation. I don’t mean what is generally conceived as appropriate more or less everywhere. But I mean, what is considered appropriate in that very specific culture at that very specific moment.

You need to gradually start identifying which are the social codes and norms overruling general social situations. In other words, you need to decode the culture for it to make sense to you, and, in turn, for your language skills to smoothly fit in and produce the right outcome to be acceptable.

You need to read between the lines, so to speak.

Learning a language is a complex endeavor of sorts. In essence, it entails understanding and integrating many different abstract and concrete layers of what is commonly called intelligence in its full meaning. It is the capacity to make converge fully cognitive skills such as learning, remembering, logical reasoning, paying attention, with social skills, such as empathy, effective communication and cooperation among others.

It is the very essence of what makes us humans.

So don’t forget to integrate both, your language skills and your social skills. Be patient, be fully aware.

Check out why you should always try to talk to natives in their mother tongue:

https://learninglanguagesinsocietywithgabi.com/article002_travel